Friday, September 23, 2011

a little help

It started with a self-closing toilet seat.  Sounds like a great does it know it's time to close?! Magic! Unfortunately, it's not so magic. The toilet seat needs a little help. A little nudge is needed to start the closing process, but once it gets going, it does so with grace. Yes, I know it sounds disturbing that I'm excited about a toilet seat, but, hey, what can I say?  I am, of course, the only one in the house who appreciates the elegant close, since no one else attempts to lower the seat.  One step at a time.

It's completely understandable that after experiencing the self-closing joy, I just HAD to have that feature on the new kitchen cabinets.  The doors in our old kitchen cabinets often remained in a state of open.  The effort to close is apparently too much after all of the work of opening and all.  This actually was preferable to the alternative...slamming the doors.  So I walked through the kitchen closing doors on a regular basis.  On the rare occasion when someone else unloaded the dishwasher, all the doors would be open at once and I would walk around closing doors feeling like Vanna White flipping letters.  Without the fancy evening gown, of course.

So, back to the cabinets...all with the soft-close feature on the doors.  They are unslammable.  Just a touch and they close.  Somehow this is now an attraction, unlike the toilet seat, and the entire family is overjoyed at how quiet the kitchen is.  They show off to guests...look at our family's door-closing prowess.  The drawers close with a little nudge too.  Just a touch with the hip and off they go, easing into the closed position.  Aaaahhh...  this is the life.

But there's a little wrinkle.  I can only hang out with other people who live this refined life too or I'm a total barbarian when I'm out of the house.  As a guest, I'm politely lowering the seat when I leave the "powder room" (so much classier than what it really is), giving it a little tap to start the closing sequence and SLAM!! Down goes the seat - FAST, not so gracefully.  Apologies all around: So sorry.  You see, my seat at home is automatic...

Later on, trying to help out in the kitchen, I just gave the cabinet door a nudge and SLAM!!! Hey, take it easy!  Again, with the apologies.  You see, my cabinet doors are self-closing... And we won't even mention the drawers, all left open in my wake, since my little nudge didn't get them all the way closed.  Sigh...what have I done?  I've created a monster! I've lost my good closing sense!

The more I think about it, I have MANY things on "automatic": lights on a timers and sensors, my car's headlights go on at dusk, the directional signals turn off after 3 seconds, the list goes on.  Which means I'll never turn off the lights when I leave the room elsewhere, I drive around at night without headlights in a rental car, and yes, I've kept that blinker going driving through three states.  I'm not so sure this "help" is helping...