Friday, April 1, 2011

learning to be

"If I can just get through the (week, meeting, proposal, party, summer camp - you name it.), I'll be fine."  Every time I say it, I hate it.  I don't remember where the phrase originated, but I feel like I'm "wishing my life away."  Life is short enough without trying to rush it along! I don't want my life to go by any faster...Like so many of my friends, I feel like I'm always waiting for the next thing. Waiting for the next calm period.  Waiting for the easier time. Waiting for more. No mas.

Lately I've been thinking...what if life is really all about how you handled the waiting?  Not the great accomplishments, just the baby steps.   A phrase that came up often during my cancer treatment was "handling it with grace"... it is such a fantastic aspiration.  To just accept where you are and find whatever good you can in it.  Find what matters. I've often used this question as a test: "Will I remember this when I'm 85?" Will it matter then? The answer is almost always no...It's a really good way to bring what feels like a huge crisis right down to size and put your attention to the important things. 

What if the key to happiness is figuring out how to just BE? Learning how to simply live, finding the good where you are now and rolling with the changes. I'm not saying we shouldn't dream, want something more, or look forward to the goals we're working to reach.  Hardly. I have no doubt that there will be good times in my future, but you know what? There are good times happening now too, and I want to make sure I don't miss them.   Seems like a worthwhile goal. Sounds all kinds of preachy, I know, like a country song. "You're Gonna Miss This", and all that.  But it's true. And I know I'm not alone here.  I don't actually know how to make this all happen, but it's good to have a plan.  I'm sure as hell going to try.  I'll keep you posted.

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