silver linings

Funny thing happened while I was um, dealing, with breast cancer...I started finding the good in it. Yeah, there are actually a handful of positive things that came from the experience. (I'm a list maker - bear with me...)



1.  I like writing...who knew?  It soothes me...  Just the act of getting my thoughts out of my head makes me feel better. I started writing "health updates" to my friends and family and realized it was helping me organize my thoughts, find holes in my knowledge and clear my mind. In times of stress, I'd do practically anything to quiet my mind. Writing works.

2. There are a select few people who actually enjoy "hearing" my thoughts. How cool is that? To write something, anything, and have someone comment in a positive way. Yeah, I like that. Like little pats on the back.

3.  I am able to accept help. And it's good. Friends and family offered help in many ways and I reached the point of, what the hell...let 'em help. And help they did. You don't get any extra credit for going it alone. There are no cancer merit points. Get by however you can and get better.  And I did.

4.  It's okay to not take "help" sometimes.  Every now and again (ok, all the time) I got stories of women who were also dealing with breast cancer, meant to help me in some way.  Sometimes the stories just plain scared the hell out of me.  I quickly came to the realization that the stories weren't helping me, I didn't have to hear them and I could politely change the subject...and it was fine.  The trick is to figure out what 'help" means to you and stick with that.

5.  I'm a stronger person now.  It's a great relief to have a time in your life when you can just lay it out there and be vulnerable. I survived the awful first conversation..."the cells were cancerous" and all the blech that came after it.   Those cancer specialists, they've got a handle on this.  I'm not going anywhere. :)